Danny UK: April 2012

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Sunday, 29 April 2012

Wait...

Wait for a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweat pants, who holds your hand in front of his friends.

Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you. Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "...that's him."

Uncut

Over on JustUsBoys, one of the most heated discussions is always Cut vs Uncut. For all you fans of an uncut cock, then Nudemalez is the blog for you and is the latest blog to join my 'Danny's Best Blogs' list, and well worth a visit (after you've visited this one of course!). It's a great mixture of professional and amateur models, celebs and other bits and pieces. In fact while I've been lusting after Tom Daley (I'm in the UK, so the law says I can), I've totally missed another diver, 19yr old Christopher Mears which Nudemalez brought to my attention. I haven't got a clue if he's cut or uncut (as a Brit there's a greater chance of one more than the other) - but I'd sure have fun finding out!

Just Saying...

So, out of about 20 houses in our row, about 5 of us have recycling refuse wheelie bins due to the fact that we have the space to accommodate them. Every 2 weeks, we put them out for collection, but last week they missed them. No problem I thought, I'll just ring the council. After the usual menu telling me to press whatever numbers for Council Tax, Housing Benefit, etc, I press 1 to put me through to reception. The conversation in bold is no word of a lie. The conversation in ordinary type is in 'real speak'

council: Good morning *council name*, how can I help you today?
council: Good morning *council name*, who do you want to complain to?
me: Good morning, refuse collection please.
me: Good morning, lack of refuse collection please.
council: thank-you sir, connecting you now.
council: you as well, hope you've got a coffee and a bingo card, there's some more numbers for you.

After an announcement regarding the new collection days (which sent me hurtling into the kitchen to check that I hadn't got the days wrong), I chose '3' and it rang... and rang... and rang... and

council: Good morning *council name*, how can I help you today?
council: Good morning *council name*, who do you want to complain to?
me: Good morning, I just spoke to you about refuse collection, it rang and then I got you again.
me: Forget the pleasantries, this is costing me money and your stupid automated system just sent me back to you.
council: Oh, sorry sir, let me try a different extension for you.
council: I bet they're ignoring it.

After an announcement regarding the new collection days (which I now knew didn't affect me), I chose '3' and it rang... and rang... and rang... and

council: Good morning *council name*, how can I help you today?
council: Good morning *council name*, who do you want to complain to?
me: Hi there, It's me again.
me: I'm getting pissed off now.
council: Oh sorry sir, I don't know what's happening here, I'll just put you on hold and try and get through internally.
council: Can't you see they must be busy, why can't you ring back later like other people.

A minutes worth of Tchaikovsky later...

council: Hello? Sir?
council: Are you still waiting?
me: Yes.
me: I'm still paying for the call, so I'm going to make sure I get a result for my money.
council: I've tried to get through and it keeps sending me back to myself
council: It's on divert.
me: Is there anyone else who might be able to...
me: Is there anyone else who might be able to...
council: Oh, I've just realised...
council: Oh, I forgot that I was told not to put calls through because...
council: It's Fish Day
council: It's Fish Day
me: Sorry?
me: WTF?
council: It's Thursday so it's Fish Day. They have fish & chips delivered and divert the lines to reception during the lunchbreak
council: Everyone knows that Thursday is Fish Day.
me: Oh, right.
me: Well that explains every fucking thing doesn't it!
council: They'll be back at 2pm.
council: They have a long lunch.
me: Can I leave my number or a message, so that they can contact me later?
me: I'll take the initiative and teach you some customer service.
council: Sorry sir, it's best if you talk to them direct after lunch.
council: They only just trust me to work the switchboard, I have a habit of losing post-it notes.
me: Can you put me through to the Members' Secretary instead then?
me: I'm going to complain to my councillor about this.
council: I don't think she deals with refuse.
council: I don't think she deals with refuse.
me: No, but my councillor will
me: You aren't going to stop me making a complaint.
council: Let me have one last try and see if I can get through on one of the interview room lines
council: You really aren't going to let this drop are you? Did you never have a Fish lunch?
me: Thank-you I appreciate it.
me: What the fuck is a refuse department doing with 'interview' rooms?
council: Hello sir, I understand you're having problems with your refuse collection?
council: Make this quick, my fish and chips are getting cold.

I'm sure I did more carbon damage with that one phone call than my single wheelie bin of recycling helped offset!

Video Mashup

Another one of my favourite YouTube artists is a guy known as Marcjohnce. He does these amazing mashups of songs that are so seamless you could be forgiven for thinking they were originally released as genuine tracks!